This weekend, we’ve been exploring how tennis friendships are forged through intention and deepened through the generosity of our time. Today, we turn our attention to showing up. Specifically, being present for others isn’t just physical, but also mental and emotional. Like the others in this series, this post is inspired by Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. That book identifies showing up as a key element of happiness and connection. In tennis, as in life, being fully present is a vital aspect of building meaningful relationships.
When we’re playing tennis, the sport demands our full attention. It takes mental focus to track the ball, construct points, and stay engaged in the flow of the match. There’s also a natural interaction with the other players, whether it’s through the rhythm of rallies, calling out the score, or acknowledging great shots. In this sense, presence is built into the game’s structure itself. However, it’s during the idle off-court moments where we must be more intentional. Those intervals of downtime hold the real potential for connection, as long as we fully show up.
In the current era, downtime at tennis events is dominated by the glow of smartphone screens. Players scroll through social media, respond to texts, or dive into the endless churn of apps and feeds. Conversation isn’t supposed to feel like the exception, rather than the rule. It wasn’t always that way. During my junior playing days, tennis players kept a deck of cards in their racquet bags and other interactive social tools to help pass the time. Rain delays or tournament matches running late were punctuated by gathering and conversing while waiting for the courts to open. That spontaneous camaraderie is less common now, a casualty of the incessant demands and addictions of our digital devices.
Being fully present means choosing people over distractions. It’s not just a feel-good platitude, but rather a disciplined practice. In tennis, that might look like watching your teammates play instead of retreating into your phone. Or asking your competitors how they are doing during the warm-up, and actually listening. It could mean staying to cheer on someone else’s match, even if you’re already done for the day. Or putting your phone in your bag for the entire time you’re on-site, not just while playing as the rules demand.
Small social moments matter. Showing up signals that “I see you. I’m here with you.” That sort of attention deepens relationships and turns tennis acquaintances into lasting friendships. And perhaps more importantly, it builds the kind of community we all want to be part of, one where people feel known, supported, and connected.
This month, I invite you to join me in a simple but powerful challenge: Fully show up every time you step into a tennis environment. Presence is about prioritizing people over distractions. It’s how tennis acquaintances become genuine friends, and how good tennis culture becomes great. Throughout June, let’s make a conscious choice to show up for each other. One moment, one match, one interaction at a time.
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Throughout 2025, I am dedicating the first full weekend of every month to exploring how ideas from Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project (<- Sponsored Link) can spark greater enjoyment and happiness in tennis. This is a non-tennis book that I have come to believe everyone should read. Seriously, you should get your hands on a copy of this book and consider trying some of the techniques described by the author.
