Yesterday, we reflected on finding contentment. That concept is the primary theme for November, as explored in Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project, her year-long examination of how deliberate choices can lead to greater joy in everyday life. Today’s focus continues our shift from inward reflection to outward expression, specifically toward the art of giving positive reviews. For whatever reason, people seem quick to give feedback when they are dissatisfied, but lose that motivation when they are happy. Taking the time to acknowledge what we genuinely enjoy not only spreads goodwill to others but also measurably boosts our own sense of happiness and satisfaction.
As an interesting aside, Rubin notes that people who write critical reviews are often perceived as more discerning than those who write favorable ones. I have enough self-awareness to recognize that many of the hot takes and “constructive” comments on this blog may unintentionally benefit from that bias. It is never my intent to tear things down, but rather to build up the tennis ecosystem through those genuine examinations. At the same time, exclusively accentuating the positives of our sport risks overlooking opportunities to take action for improvement or repairing small problems before they become significant issues.
There is real value in leaning into genuine enthusiasm. Expressing appreciation sharpens awareness of what brings joy to the game. When something feels good, describing it helps anchor that feeling in memory. Talking or writing about what delights us spreads positivity to others while reinforcing it within ourselves. Happiness grows stronger when it is shared.
Giving a positive review doesn’t require a public forum or a five-star rating system. It can be as simple as complimenting our opponent’s well-played point, appreciating a tournament organizer’s effort, or expressing gratitude to our practice partners. These moments build community and elevate the tone of every interaction. They shift the focus from critique to connection.
In tennis, one of the most valuable times to practice this happiness-building technique is immediately after a loss. The temptation is to analyze every missed opportunity and to narrate the defeat in terms of what went wrong. Instead, consider what went right. If the points were fun, the weather conditions were beautiful, or the match was conducted in a convivial spirit of true competition, that should be noted. Choosing to highlight those positives doesn’t deny the disappointment but rather reframes it in a way that fosters resilience and a more positive perspective.
The challenge for November, the month of gratitude, is to give positive reviews freely. Whether that takes the form of a written note, a social media comment, or a kind word spoken in person, look for opportunities to express appreciation. Leaving positive reviews, in any context, is a subtle yet powerful habit that fosters happiness. It strengthens gratitude, encourages kindness, and transforms ordinary encounters into affirmations of shared humanity. It requires no special skill, only attention and intention. The next time something moves you, whether it’s a tennis match, a teammate’s effort, or a small act of courtesy, take a moment to acknowledge it. The world, and your own mood, will be better for it.
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Throughout 2025, I am dedicating the first full weekend of every month to exploring how ideas from Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project (<- Sponsored Link) can spark greater enjoyment and happiness in tennis. This is a non-tennis book that I have come to believe everyone should read. Seriously, you should get your hands on a copy of this book and consider trying some of the techniques described by the author.
