Our Wednesday rules-focused series is currently breaking down the principles outlined in “The Code” within the USTA’s Friend at Court. For additional historical context, I have been pulling in text that was included in that behavioral standard in 2001, but has been deleted in the intervening time. One of the more curious phrases from that deprecated version contains the following as an example of poor sportsmanship: “Embarrassing a weak opponent by being overly gracious or condescending.” While that sentence no longer appears in the current version, I still think it’s worth unpacking.
Sometimes there are extreme competitive mismatches in tennis. It can happen in tournaments, league play, and occasionally even during a drill. When the ratings don’t quite line up and the skill gap is wide, the stronger player shoulders an unspoken responsibility to ensure the match unfolds with dignity. Humiliation benefits no one. However, the former directive not to be overly gracious suggests that being “too nice” can create embarrassment or come across as condescension. It is a delicate tightrope for the stronger player to navigate.
The idea of “overly gracious” is tricky. Sportsmanship typically involves encouragement, courtesy, and respect. However, those gestures cannot be excessive. Applauding every unforced error your opponent makes with comments like, “So close, good try,” might be intended as kindness, but can seem like mockery. The opponent walks away, not only outplayed but also feeling patronized. In that sense, excessive sportsmanship, applied without sensitivity, can be just as unsporting as outright disrespect. It is a pretty subtle distinction.
I had an experience in a drill a few years ago that speaks directly to this gray area. I used to regularly attend a mixed 7 a.m. session that was specifically designated for players with a 4.0 NTRP rating and above. One week, a new player arrived, paid for her spot in the pro shop, and walked onto the court. It was immediately apparent that she was at best a 3.0, and she could not handle the hard-hitting and fast pace of that drill. However, everyone who was there that day treated her with patience and grace. People modulated their play to deliver her slower balls that she could handle, and tried to keep things from getting too awkward. In short, we tried very hard not to embarrass her.
Unfortunately, perhaps we were a bit too nice. She showed up again the following week. Our well-intentioned generosity was interpreted as a sign that she was welcomed. In reality, her presence made the drill less enjoyable for everyone else. The goodwill of the first week quickly evaporated.
That’s where the fuzziness of “overly gracious” comes in. Being nice once was the only right thing to do. However, by softening our behavior too much, we created a false sense of fit that ultimately embarrassed everyone. The spirit and intent of the directive to avoid being “overly gracious” may have been an attempt to capture the point that being nice can cross a line when it becomes misleading.
While I agree that players should avoid embarrassing weaker opponents, I remain challenged by the idea that there can be too much courtesy or sportsmanship. It seems like a contradiction, and I suspect that may have been why the phrase disappeared from The Code. Still, this leads nicely into a bigger question I will explore this weekend: If sportsmanship can be excessive to the point of being unsportsmanlike, then how do we measure the kind of sportsmanship that deserves an award?
- Friend at Court: The Handbook of Tennis Rules and Regulations, USTA, 2025
- Friend at Court: The USTA Handbook of Tennis Rules and Regulations, USTA, 2001. (Hardcopy.)
