A built-in negativity bias is an indelible part of human nature. We tend to react more strongly and persistently to the bad than to the good. It’s an ancient survival mechanism that once helped our ancestors avoid danger but now tends to amplify stress, frustration, and disappointment. Focusing on or ruminating over negative events rarely brings relief. Instead, it prolongs the discomfort and clouds our perception of what is still good.
In The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin describes how she invented the concept of an “area of refuge,” a safe mental space to retreat to when confronted with negativity, stress, or trauma. It is a place, either literal or imagined, that allows the mind and body to recalibrate. Finding such spaces, and intentionally returning to them, is a way of practicing emotional self-care and reclaiming balance.
In tennis, areas of refuge can be both physical and mental. For me, I have discovered that the simple act of hitting against a backboard has become one of my most restorative experiences. I have written before about the zenlike meditation that emerges from that rhythmic exchange. Recently, I resolved to make backboard hitting a regular part of my offseason routine. In the early morning hours, I have been appropriating a racquetball court at my community recreation center as my personal practice space. It is quiet and isolated, a setting where the sound of each strike echoes like a meditation bell. When my contact is clean, I can hear a distinctive ringing resonance in my ears. It is the perfect antidote to the tension that has been creeping into my backhand mechanics. In this secluded environment, my body has rediscovered its natural flow.
There is also great power in cultivating a mental area of refuge through positive visualization. The mind is remarkably responsive to imagined experiences. Taking a few moments to replay successful points, recall the sensation of striking the ball cleanly, or visualize a calm and confident match demeanor, helps reinforce those emotional and physical patterns. Positive visualization is not about pretending away challenges, but about rehearsing success so vividly that the body begins to believe it is real. Returning to those images during moments of stress restores composure and confidence, just as stepping into a quiet space restores peace.
Whether physical or mental, areas of refuge are essential tools for managing the inevitable ups and downs of competition and life. They provide shelter from negativity and create the conditions for growth. Finding them is not an act of avoidance, but rather an act of alignment. When we retreat into spaces that restore us, we return to the court—and the world—stronger, calmer, and ready to engage once again.
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Throughout 2025, I am dedicating the first full weekend of every month to exploring how ideas from Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project (<- Sponsored Link) can spark greater enjoyment and happiness in tennis. This is a non-tennis book that I have come to believe everyone should read. Seriously, you should get your hands on a copy of this book and consider trying some of the techniques described by the author.
