Twas the night before bump ups, new ratings pronounced;
Not a player was resting… Here’s my account;
Their numbers were done by the computer with care,
All hoped that the NTRP would this year be fair;
While others were nestled all snug in their beds;
Tennis players hit “reload” til their fingers all bled;
Dressed up in my Nationals shirt and a cap,
A beer in my hand, no time for a nap,
When out of Orlando there arose such a clatter,
The servers slowed, hope was in shatters.
The appointed hour came and went in a flash;
But nothing was posted, the system had crashed;
My annoyance and dread had started to grow:
What’s my new rating?!? I just had to know.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
But a message to exercise patience my dear.
Computers aren’t really a USTA thing;
Outsourced to a third party, (ka-ching!)
More rapid than eagles the curses they came;
With epithets shouted in all ways profane;
Now captains and ringers and bags made of sand;
Would all have to stay up much later than planned.
It is like this every year I recall,
The desperate queries, network traffic that crawls;
Like leaves that before the wild hurricane fly;
Texts with outcomes start to arrive.
That 3.5 self-rate who played college too;
Double bumped from that roster, goodbye and adieu;
The 3.0 appeal with a Super Champ history,
Only up to 3.5, somewhat of a mystery;
The one-year 4.5 who lost every match,
Reunited with her 4.0 team in a snap;
The National Champion with an unappealable bump,
is off with a wave “See you next year, chumps.”
With a wink of an eye and a twist of the head,
The organizational insiders land in good stead;
They speak not a word and go straight to work,
Assembling new teams of competitive jerks.
The night is over, the ratings are posted;
“To another year,” they say as we get toasted;
Save for one lone voice with a final serve,
“NTRP to you, it’s what you deserve.”
Editorial note: Posting this parody the day before USTA NTRP ratings adjustments are posted is an annual tradition on this site. Last year the USTA addressed the historic server throughput issues by publishing lists of players and their ratings for each area. While the response to individual queries was still slow, the performance was significantly better than in years past. I may ultimately have to revise that section of the poem should the trend continue.
Pro Tip: I recommend immediately downloading a local copy of the player NTRP Ratings list for your local area of interest. That list can later be used to establish clarity on the direction of appeals. It is a good historical reference to have around.
I figured out how to find the local ratings.
Go to USTA tennis link
advanced search for a rating
then it prompts you to answer several questions:
– section
-state
-local region
-gender
-rating you want to look up and you will find all the people in that group listed- however, I didn’t find my name on the list- I guess because I haven’t played league in several years. My rating has not expired though. When I typed in my name under the search bar it does list me and my rating.
How do you download local list?
I was just going to ask this question! Did you figure out how to download the local list?
Teresa is out of pocket but was squinting at it on the phone this morning. It doesn’t look like they pre-positioned complete lists this year. You can query for ratings on a whole district, but a spot check suggests returning incomplete results. (Maybe only people who played a match in 2022.) if you get to that screen you can copy/paste or print to a pdf.