Fiend at Court Unplugged
It has been a very long time since I have been to a public live ball drill, primarily due to how the situation with COVID-19 has significantly altered my playing logistical patterns. I just had the realization that I am in a rare window of opportunity to rant about player behaviors that drive me nuts at tennis drills. For a limited time, I can comment publicly without anyone I have been around recently recognizing themselves and taking exception.
I love live ball drills. It is a wonderful tennis engagement innovation that doesn’t have a universally accepted definition. To me, a good live ball drill is one where the primary emphasis is on feeding a lot of balls and keeping the players moving. Participants at a live ball drill should have no expectation of tennis instruction. It is not a lesson.
In an effective live ball drill, a grocery sized basket of balls will be exhausted over the course of each drill segment. Eventually it becomes time to “Pick ’em Up.” This is where all players are supposed to pitch in to get the balls back in the basket as quickly as possible so the next round of play can begin.
I am wired to automatically pick up the balls. In fact, I have been known to step in and pick up balls in situations where I am not even in the drill, hitting off the ball machine, or taking the lesson. Consequently, I get super annoyed when people who are actually supposed to pick up the balls… don’t.
I have given up on changing the world. What I can do is adapt. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. This is what brings me to an enumeration of the strategies that can be used to never pick up your share of the balls at a tennis drill ever again. I have learned from some of the best in this business.
The Strategies
Hydrate, Hydrate, Hydrate. I mean who can argue with a player who heads straight to the water cooler rather than the ball hopper? If challenged on this, the player will respond with self-righteous indignation that it is very important to stay hydrated when playing tennis. Coincidently, this is also the person who is ready to step up to be first in line when all the other players head to get water.
The Big Wig. This player is so busy that they have to conduct business on their mobile while the rest of the drill players are picking up the balls. I mean each and every one of those calls is important. We are lucky that they have graced us with their presence at all.
The Straw that Stirs the Drink. This player participates in the process without ever picking up a ball. This is accomplished by helpfully knocking the balls around to the corners and the net where other players are expected to pick them up. If they find a corner with a lot of balls and no one to pick them up they will helpfully tap all those balls in the direction of the basket or another corner.
The Endless Rally. It is pretty common for the tennis professional who is feeding the drill to announce when the last ball is in play. The players on both sides of the net conspire to keep the ball in play cooperatively until all the other players in the drill have effectively completed the ball pick up. This is… actually a legitimate thing do to as long as play doesn’t devolve into short court.
Serve ’em Up. This player picks up the ball on their end of the court and delivers them to the basket end by serving a ball to the opposite end. Hey- that ball has to get down there somehow and that is undeniably the fastest method. The fact that the ball scuds wildly through packs of players balancing a pyramid of balls on their racquets is someone else’s problem.
The Court Jester. This player picks up a few balls, but only for the purpose of entertaining themselves and others. The balls that are picked up are for performing tricks or playing games. Examples of tricks are juggling and taking long range NBA style shots in the general direction of the basket. An example of a game would be “junk ball” where two guys take turns trying to hit each other in the… well, junk… with a tennis ball. I am not making that last one up. I am talking grown assed men. (OK, these guys may recognize themselves. Some behaviors are too unique to be obscured by the passage of time.)
The Instructable. A live ball drill is not a tennis lesson, but this doesn’t stop the player from engaging the pro during the pick up attempting to garner that benefit. It is OK to ask for feedback here and there, especially if good observations are followed up with booking a lesson to work on the recommendations. It is not OK for that conversation to extend across the entirety of each and every ball pickup span.
The Social Butterfly. This is a variation of “The Instructable” except the target of this player’s discussion is other players. This player will shadow the other players who are picking up balls, but the primary objective is conversation. The topics might be tennis related, but could include almost anything.
The Bathroom Break. I empathize with this one. As a senior women tennis player, I fully appreciate that when you gotta go, you gotta go. Eventually all players are likely to experience this need in the middle of a drill from time to time. On the other hand, when this break comes at the first stoppage of play on a regular basis, perhaps there is an opportunity to arrive at the tennis facility in time to take care of business prior to the start of the drill.
The Infirmary. This player is too injured to pick up balls, but somehow always ready to step up to the line for the next round of drills. The ball pick up breaks for this player are consumed with stretching, massaging, and re-taping. Alternatively the player may “just need to sit down” for a few minutes. That’s fine as long as the resumption of the live ball drill doesn’t have repetitive magical healing qualities.
Gotta Leave Early. This is a technique that works well, but only at the end of the drill. When the final ball pick up is announced, this player immediately departs since they have somewhere else to be. This leaves all the other remaining players to pick up there share of the balls. The only acceptable way to leave a drill early is if the players departure is timed such that they pick up a racquet face of balls on their way out.
That Was Cathartic
At some point in the near future I would like to get a few people together to create a video that demonstrates each of these techniques. That is probably a much better format for effectively conveying these strategies over the written form.
Who want’s to volunteer for the “junk ball” segment?
As a reminder, the Fiend at Court recently published a series of posts with Christmas Gifting recommendations for tennis players. Those articles contain amazon affiliate links and all proceeds through the end of the year have been pledged to the USTA Rally to Rebuild campaign.
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